So exhausted.

On one hand, it's the last 2 months of school, and only one real month, because AP tests are in early May, and after that, there isn't much to do in 2 of my 3 classes. There'll only be Pre-AP classes to prepare for after that. Which is going to be awesome.
On the other hand, I'm on a tight schedule for AP Biology, and we're currently on Plants, which I know absolutely nothing about, so it takes me about 2 hours to prepare for each 25 minute lecture. Totally lame. I get home from work, have dinner, slack off while dreading the work I need to do, eventually go over as much as I can, go to sleep, and then get up and get to work at 7 am, just to do it all over again. I hate it when work overcomes my life! I absolutely hate and resent it, and I get really angry. I have no sense of ambition or desire for a career at all. Unfortunately I also have no desire to be a stay at home mom, so that route is closed to me too. But whatever, we're done with plants on Thursday, and I'm taking Monday off because AP and Pre-AP Bio will both be testing. So, the torture will be over fairly soon.
The other thing is, I have training two days this week till 7 pm, and two days next week. If you didn't know, teacher training is super boring and useless, so basically, I will be there in body but not in mind.

It's weeks like this that make me want to get a tattoo, buy a new Louis, and move to Mexico. I don't know why society has locked us into this lifestyle. We were not meant to live this way! Why should we have kids, just to send them into slavery? And yes, it is slavery, because money is just money, and it doesn't really do anything except imprison most people more firmly in society's convoluted net.

Think about it--we go to school for 13+ years, worrying the whole time about the "permanent record," which no one even cares to look at once you're out of school. After school, the only thing left to do according to society is:
1. Get a job, preferably a Career.
2. Buy a house and car
3. Get married.
4. Have kids.
5. Die
Every single one of these things traps us more and more in the net of society. How? Let me show you.

Job > Desire to succeed and be promoted > Job stress > Impulse purchasing and Overeating to combat stress (or alcoholism, infidelity with coworkers, anger management issues) > Money spent on diets, gyms, and previously mentioned impulse purchasing (or rehab, divorce, anger management) > Eventual promotion and raise > More Job stress and responsibility > buy a house and car > now you're in debt > now you need another promotion and raise > more job stress > lather, rinse, repeat...

The higher up you get in your Career, the worse it is, and the more you are mired in society's diabolical little plan for you. If you're lucky, you retire and survive on Social Security. If you're not lucky, you die in debt and pass the debt onto your kids.

Getting married and having kids are just extra bonuses so you can feel even more stressed out because you have to work to keep your kids in American Eagle jeans, and to keep your spouse in their fancy car and house, while also feeling guilty about spending too much time at work, and not enough time at home with your family.

It's a conspiracy to keep us too busy worrying about inconsequential things like our Career (which obviously is not inconsequential thing to most individuals) to make trouble by coming up with novel ideas.

(I.E. teacher lay offs--that is all anyone at work can talk about these days...)

In order to avoid it, you have to 1. be willing to see your job as the inconsequential thing that it really is, and 2. be willing to lay aside material goods enough to save up money so that it helps you maintain freedom rather than trapping you. And if you have kids, that's most likely close to impossible.

I'm struggling at least one of these steps currently. I'll let you know if I succeed.

It's Monday, and Spring break is officially over...
Sadly, I didn't post anything about it beginning, but rest assured, that post would have been ecstatic.

The Sunday blues are always the worst after a longer than usual break, and yesterday was no different. But we tried our hardest to keep it at bay by going to Dinosaur Valley National Park to see the fossilized dinosaur tracks, which was really fun.
We took Dwight, and he was great! He acted like the quintessential perfect dog--scaled rocks and forded rivers like a true dog of the wild, while taking in stride golf carts (which usually freak him out), small children, and other dogs. I was so proud. His allergies are still acting up, but they seem to be getting a little better, because I think we finally have figured out how to avoid his food allergens at least.

I just can't wait to get home. Ever since med school, I dread everything, even if it's not very dreadworthy. Mondays aren't so bad, I like my job for the most part, but for some reason the dread on Sundays is just totally unavoidable. If there was a way to buy happiness and contentment, I would pay any amount. Even just to get my old self back. I used to feel ok about most things before med school.