tonight: the three burials of melquiades estrada, the bitter taste of keg beer gives me shivers, skateboarding in a parking lot at night with jack johnson playing on the radio of my parked car.

I've been making mix cds! Fitting all the songs on the front of the cd in fat sharpie is the most difficult part.
Now all I have to do is finish the job and send them off.

I have been feeling restless, and I am trying not to be. I'm ready for a change, but change is not ready for me.
There is a boxer puppy at the shelter that is the spitting image of the exact dog I want. But I'm going to stop obsessing about getting a dog until me and Aaron are settled wherever we're going to be settled after this summer. And then we'll see. Because despite how much I want a dog to play with, I do not want it to be the equivalent of an immaculately conceived love-child which will become a burden to my future husband. So if we get a dog, it must be one that we are both present to choose. And anyways, I think that once we're in the same place, I'll want to be able to stay out as late as I want without a dog missing me at home. 'Cause that would give me hives.
Oh my indecision kills me.

So! I was thinking today at work while stalker-ishly spying on some office people's playlists on itunes. I want some music. And I am willing to trade--I've got quite a selection of CDs and music, maybe some of which you want. Here's a list of what I want.

1. Jimmy Hendrix in general, esp. Bold As Love, Wind Cries Mary, All Along the Watchtower
2. Cream in general. I have the obvious stuff, like Sunshine of Your Love and White Room, MTV Unplugged Layla, but I want more of the old stuff.
3. Radiohead. Any and all. People keep telling me I should get into them, but I never will unless it's a trade.
4. Also anything else you think I would like...new stuff?
If anyone sends me anything I will for sure send you something back. If you don't know what you want, I will send you something I think you would like. Wouldn't it be cool to get a package in the mail??

As I went through my day today, I had this constant picture in the back of my mind of me and Aaron in the parking lot of the Wendy's across the highway from my apartment, me in my slip-ons and ratty flannel shirt and him with his Fallen hoodie and messy hair. Late-night runs for fast food right before having to do homework are good enough to eat.

I have been making daily trips down to the animal shelter--it really is like a candy store for animal lovers. A huge selection of insanely cute dogs and puppies and even kittens, all spread out for one's choosing. That is, if I try not to think too much about the sad parts.
But I have been visiting the puppy we are hoping for! It's a nice 20 minutes to be had after work or class to go and see a familiar face.
I have been feeling sort of loner-ish lately.

I am loving my self-inflicted haircut. heck, maybe I won't ever pay for a haircut again. I should teach Aaron to cut girl's hair...he'd only have to learn one style, I've had the same hair since 7th grade!
(yikes...is that sad?)
Well, it has undergone gradual changes. Like the slow wearing-away of a mountain by the wind.
And then we would never have to pay for haircuts ever. We could move to the mountains and be hermits and self-sufficient.

for now: lynyrd skynyrd shirt, getting farther on vice city, coming home to a dark apartment, jack johnson's new cd, delicious shivery weather.

My mouse died the day after Valentine's day. I think he is the first pet who I miss like I would miss a person--the apartment is so empty without him.
Aaron came home the next day, which was great because I don't know what I would've done otherwise, but I was pretty sad on and off the whole time he was here. It was better after I made a list, so I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting any of the cool things mousie-poo did.

Me and Aaron did a bunch of stuff this weekend. It's all a (mostly freezing cold) blur and for right now, I can't really remember what we did day by day. For Valentine's day he got me checkerboard vans! and a DVD set of All-American Girl, that hilarious early-90s sitcom with Margaret Cho in it. And I got him Rise of Nations for Apple so he'd have a staple game to play.
On Thursday it was so warm it felt like summer, and we ate lunch at Player's around 4 pm, and it felt like we'd travelled back in time to last year.
Then, the rest of the weekend was freezing cold.
We watched Brokeback Mountain at the Drafthouse which was unexpectedly romantic, and made nighttime runs to HEB for queso stuff and alcohol we didn't drink, and rented Saw II. Ate at Dog Almighty (stuffed ourselves both times), ate at Chili's.
Also we went to Waterloo, and Town Lake Animal Shelter to look at the animals. We went for the first time on Saturday, and saw this little pug mix puppy that seemed awesome, and then, on Sunday, we trekked about a mile in the freezing cold across the river on a bridge because some marathon blocked up the street we needed to turn on, to see the puppy again and sign up to try to adopt her. But someone else is first in line, so we might not get her. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, and I guess we weren't really on the market for a puppy, but somehow, this one makes all the inconveniences (pet deposit for only 3 more months at my apt., adoption fee, where me and Aaron will be next year, etc.) worth it. And Aaron loves her too. So that's good. We shall name her Mystery or Zero if we get her. (i really hope we do.)

And then today, I gave Aaron a haircut, and then gave myself one that he evened out.

So that's it for now, more later maybe.
I can't wait to get married--it will be like a never-ending sleepover.

I have a very specific complaint today. Girls whose relationships with guys consist more of hero-worship than anything else. You know what I'm talking about. It's pretty depressing.

Actually, I have a number of specific complaints...the inconsistancies of the romani language (or gypsy-talk, i like to say. ha. that would give my prof an aneurysm.), my lack of motivation in actually sitting down to write my thesis, my constant tiredness which results in my lounging in bed for hours at a stretch--feeling too guilty to actually fall into a deep sleep but also too out of it to do anything productive, the monotony of work.

I want everyone in the world to look away for the day so that I can do anything I want, run around, skateboard really badly, buy a chipotle burrito, without feeling silly.

On the other hand, I have my GTA vice city map taped up on the wall in my back room now, and I am looking forward to watching a much anticipated movie this weekend.

That gallon of mint-chocolate chip ice cream I bought last week was clearly a mistake.

I went over to Rachel's co-op yesterday to have cheap beer, tiny pieces of pizza, and "watch" the Superbowl. Actually I only watched like, 30 mins. of it, and most of that was halftime.
Then we did homework, I met her 37 year old pet wierdo, and then we sat for a while on the porch. It smelled like fall, and I felt like walking but had nowhere to go.

I hate people under 30 who refer to their bf as their "lover." I know you're most likely doing it. But I do not need blatant confirmation, at least not one as cheesy as that.

new things:
I finally got my ring resized, so I can wear it on the right finger always now.
I am doing Flash animation at my job. It's fun.
And...best of all, Aaron shall be here on the 16th. rarg. happy growl.

This post sounds kind of chill. But I just spent half my day waiting at the DMV, so it's lucky I can string a sentence together at all.