Yes, it is quite Wednesday, Tuesday has come and gone.



Monday it stormed right as I was coming home from volunteering at Brack hospital.

As I was walking home, I saw a perfectly intact dead squirrel lying at the foot of a tree and clutching a visine bottle in its paws. I went quite a bit out of my way to capture this on film, and when it's developed, I'll let you know if you are interested. No disrespect to the poor squirrel, I pray safe passage to heaven for him/her.

After I walked past the squirrel, and was heading towards Aaron's apt. to hang out before he had to go to class, it started thundering like mad--first flashes of lightning which just barely lightened the cloudy storm yellow-tinted sky, but felt like a barely restrained something that was soon to be unrestrained. And then when the thunder came, it came as a crash that echoed in the bones and flesh, and was somehow a release. This went on for about ten minutes, and by the time I was at Aaron's apt. eating the chips and queso, etc. that I had picked up from taco cabana, it started raining hard.

I haven't seen that kind of rain in a long time, but it seems like I had it stored up in my memory, and when I finally saw it, I knew I had been waiting for it to finally come. The day became sunlit, and clear, and the rain just made everything brighter and clearer. We just sat outside on the second floor and looked out over the shut-down gas station, and the street, and part of the drag, and the rain encased all of these and made them into memory.

Today was my organic chemistry test. I don't know whether I did well, I just have this feeling of dread, that I didn't do as well as I could have...

Which makes me feel guilty for wanting anything right now but...I have become really obsessed with this bike thing. And it's not even just the bike anymore, it's the knowledge and the atmosphere in general--I went to bed thinking about it, and didn't fall asleep until 2:40 and then woke up at 6:25 without the alarm and laid in bed half-thinking, half-dreaming about it until I had to get up to go to class. It's so wierd, it's like a high school infatuation but just a thousand times more psychotic (though some of those hs infatuations were pretty damn psychotic already...)

But yeah, I think I have decided on the blue bike, (sorry guys, most of ya'll did pick the red one--except for jenn s. which sorta just proves all over again how we think exactly alike--but yeah, I can't get the Hoffman Rhythm out of my head)

But the one concrete detail that sealed the deal for me was that one of the reasons I was unsure about the Hoffman was that my old bike was easier to pedal than a lot of those other BMX bikes that are made for boys, and I wasn't sure how the Hoffman would ride. But yesterday, taking time out from when I should have been studying organic, I looked it up, and figured out the concept of the gear ratio.

Anyone interested? well I'm going to tell you anyway.

There are two gear thingys on the bike (yeah i'm going to give you the technical version) the big one is called the chain wheel and the little one (on the back wheel) is called the freewheel. The gear ratio is based on how many little teeth are on each of these gears, and it is: (# teeth on chainwheel/ # teeth on freewheel) x diameter of tires (which is 20" on most bmx bikes)

So anyways, whereas my stolen bike had a gear ratio of 39/16, the Hoffman is 39/14 which would be harder to pedal. But here's what decided me: Empire (the store I'm buying the bike from) says they will change the gear for free...so I'm going to get the Hoffman.

Ok yeah hopefully the last entry about bikes, I always hate it when people are all talking about their material wants on their blogs, but apparently I have fallen into that category lately. But it's fun to think about...is it normal to be so materialistic??

I'm so alive

I'm so enlightened

I can barely survive

A night in my mind

So I've got a plan

I'm gonna find out just how boring I am

and have a good time



Cause ever since I tried

Trying not to find

Every little meaning in my life

It's been fine

I've been cool

With my new golden rule



Numb is the new deep

Done with the old me

And talk is the same cheap it's been



...and look at the stars

Don't it remind you just how feeble we are?

Well it used to, I guess



I'm a new man

I wear a new cologne and

You wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed

I know what you'll say

'This won't last longer than the rest of the day'

But you're wrong this time, you're wrong



Numb is the new deep

Done with the old me

I'm over the analyzing

Tonight



Stop trying to figure it out

Deep will only bring you down

You know, I used to be the back porch poet with my book of rhymes

always open knowing all the time I'm probably

Never gonna find the perfect rhyme

For heavier things



-John Mayer

At this point, it's one to one...so let's take a poll:

Which bike should I get? Here are the details:

1. The red one is the one I had stolen, and it most likely will cost $170.

2. The blue one is $240.

3. Questions: Would either look poserish?

Since I wear jeans all the time, would the blue make me look washed out?

Finally, which bike defines my essence best?

Ok that's all I can think of right now, except...please don't think I'm neurotic, at least not outside this subject. I seem to get extra analytical and detailed at certain points, and I promise it won't happen too much. God, I feel like I'm in middle school again, with all those in depth discussions about nothing.

alright, here are the links to pictures:

http://www.hoffmanbikes.com/04PRODIMAGES/CB_RhythmEL1.jpg

vs.

http://www.riteway-jp.com/2003gt/fs/comp.htm

Life is hectic.

Got a 96 on my last cell bio test, awesome!

This week it is organic, and I have an Australian Lit. paper due, and organic lab just sucks as always.

Anyways, found out the prices, about $240 for the bike, which I don't know if I'm willing to pay, so...



My Australian Lit teacher is hilarious, here are some quotes (pertaining to the movie Walkabout):

"...the family unit is completely repressed...or they're just British or something."

"the tree is an erotic representation of...whatever."

"the guy's a total loser--he only killed himself, so he only succeeded in one third of his mission."



Off I go with some Coke for company to finish my paper.

Friday was fun, went to Empire Bikes to check out how much it would be to replace the irreplaceable...apparently more than I am willing to pay. (they custom for $400 plus)

It snowed! less than last year, b/c it only stuck to the cars but we threw snowballs nevertheless, and built mini-snowmen, the only kind that exist around here. Didn't get to bed until 4am, then Saturday morning I dragged myself out of bed to accompany Aaron to the editing lab, and while I was there, I looked up Hoffman bikes, which turned out to be awesome. So now I want the Hoffman Rhythm EL-1...

http://www.hoffmanbikes.com/04PRODIMAGES/CB_RhythmEL1.jpg

to see it.



Saturday--Valentine's Day.

Aaron took me to Pappadeaux, which I'd never been to, and we went to see a movie, The Highwaymen...which was so bad it was funny.



And now, Sunday, I am absolutely screwed homework-wise, so I'm gonna go now.

Here I am, eating a nutty bar I don't want, drinking grapefruit juice and blogging just to avoid studying for a test I have in about an hour.

Let's see, updates...

spent thirty bucks on some psycho obsessive lock for my bike...that I have not bought yet, and nor decided which one I will buy. None seem to live up to my previous standards. So right now, Aaron's ghetto little mongoose (who no one would ever want to steal, but which I am borrowing) is chained with a lock that is worth more than the bike itself.

Have been having trouble with organic lab. Have never felt so klutzy as I did last thursday...afterwards I went over to Aaron's and cried--ask him. pathetic but true, organic has finally reduced me to tears. Today's lab was hectic as well, but not my fault this time, thank god. The equipment messed up...but I think I am still smelling fumes from the ether, so maybe I didn't do so well. (oh the days when ether was merely something random and cool that people wrote songs about...I have had way too much personal knowledge of it as of now)

Got an A on my short story that I was so worried about, and nice comments from the professor, so I feel better about my english major, maybe it will actually amount to something. Strange but I feel better about making that one A in creative writing than any other A in science based classes that I have made...i swear i read that story over and over trying to see whether his comments were sincere or not.

This weekend--valentine's day! Aaron's making the plans...or not making them, I can't tell, he says it's nothing, but then hints at a secret, so we'll see.

Sending my sister oscar the grouch stickers from toy joy as a present, (no hidden meaning they were just cute stickers) and...the end.

wish me luck on the test.