Blogging to you from my new computer, who I've jokingly christened "Edward."
(If you don't know what that is in reference to, you don't know me very well...)
My old one's battery died, and then the mouse started going, so we sorta decided not to put any more money into it. I miss my old compy sometimes, but I also have gotten quite emotionally attached to my new one, so it's a toss up.

I haven't blogged for real in a very long time, mostly because I've been fairly down about the tellable parts of my life, though I've also been fairly happy about the not-so-tellable parts of my life. Like, how much can one say about how cute one's dog is, or how incredible one's husband is? In any case, I guess there just hasn't been much to say.

So, I am still unemployed, and still very torn about that--I don't know if I like not doing much during the day, but I also don't know if working would be better. And I change my mind multiple times a day about what kind of job I want.
Enough about that.

For Christmas, I went down to Galveston to visit my sister and her new apartment by the beach. Here's some pictures of Dwight and I at the beach!







He was great at the beach! I was able to let him run off-leash because there weren't any people around, and he came to me when I called him every time. And he got in the ocean, which I was really surprised about since he hates water and is basically a coward about everything. It was really fun to watch him be a normal dog for once.
Although, he did cut his paw slightly on a shell and bled all over my sheets at Monica's place before I noticed. Boy, was that a bitch to pre-wash. There were at least 25 little blood spots. It was absolutely miserable.

Since Aaron had to work in Dallas until the day before Christmas Eve, he came down to Houston Wednesday night. Things we did during our Christmas break in Houston:
--saw Avatar with Aaron's dad. I loved it, even though the 3-d glasses gave me a super headache during the first half of the film.
--walked Dwight with Clover, my dad's dog. They got along super well, because Clover's a very calm, dominant dog, so they sniffed noses and butts properly, and then respected each other's space.
--had Christmas lunch at Aaron's uncle's house with his mom and grandparents. The food was absolutely amazing, and I've been craving roast w/ horseradish sauce ever since.
--spent Christmas night with my family down in Galveston at my sister's place. Ate another Christmas meal. This one included of creamed corn, which my arteries will be paying for when I'm 60. The recipe consisted of 2 cans of corn, a whole stick of butter, and a whole 8 oz stick of cream cheese. Disgusting! But oh so delicious. I came back to Dallas and tried to replicate it after halving the butter and cheese, but it just doesn't taste as good. I don't think I'll have the original stuff again though, as I might not survive it.
--hung out with Elissa, Aaron B., and Rachel at Elissa's mom's house the day after Christmas. Cache (Elissa's lab mix) and Dwight got to meet each other. This was a bit more...exciting, as they sorta riled each other up. I got to hear Dwight's new chihuahua bark, which he did while playing with Cache.
Side note: While there, Elissa asked whether Dwight had ever bitten another dog or human, so I just want to re-iterate(!!) that no, he has not ever bitten dog, human, cat, or any other thing that's not his food or treats, or the tips of my fingers as I handed him a treat. He chases cats outside but then play bows when he catches up to them (though scaring them in the process, I'm sure), and is submissive with Big Poppa, our cat. In addition, he was bit by a schnauzer once, and did not retaliate, just stood there with his ears back. If he bit a dog ever, he wouldn't ever get to play with another dog and if he bit a human, he would probably get put down. I feel bad for him sometimes, because we have to put so much pressure on him to be well behaved just because of the way he looks. I understand it, because of his breed reputation, but it still sucks.
--had lunch at Katz's with a friend, which was a double bonus because I got to catch up with him, *and* eat a whole order of fried pickles by myself.

Okay, here's some videos I wanted to show you guys.

Dwight and Aaron playing. Dwight sometimes gets in these moods where he wants to lay his paw on our hands. Halfway through, Dwight gets smart and uses both paws.


Beach footage.


More beach footage--I'm trying to get Dwight to chase the seagulls but he's totally oblivious, and keeps running in front of me and then stopping, thus tripping me up. He finally gets it though.


My mom feeding Dwight and Monica french fries. I was really surprised to see my mom doing this, because she hates the soft feeling of animals, especially their mouths. Notice how she tries to give the longest ones to Dwight.

We just took Big Poppa to the vet, and he tested negative for FIV, Feline leukemia, and heartworms! I am so relieved, because we haven't been taking him to the vet because we were afraid of stressing him out and aggravating the feline leukemia, which we assumed he had, since Tupac, who he hung around with, died of it.

^^What a convoluted sentence.

Anyways, yipee!!

I am re-obsessed with Twilight. I saw New Moon a week ago, and I just finished reading New Moon through Breaking Dawn again. Starting on Twilight again.

Why oh why am I mentally 12 years old?

Oh hell, if it lets me lust after the likes of Edward Cullen, I'm resigned to it.

My christmas present is ridiculously Twilight-inspired, too. yay!

My poor blog readers...(all 2 of you)...you must think I have abandoned you. Which, in a way, I have, since my life consists of very little of interest. Unless you would like daily updates on the escapades of Dwight and B.P., which I could go on and on about, but I doubt you would find that interesting. In addition, the "o" button on my laptop is now sticking, thus making it quite hard to write about anything with an "o" in it. Good thing Dwight's name doesn't contain one.

I really just logged on today to tell you to look at this post on CuteOverload.

But I suppose I should do some sort of update. Let's see...

Dwight and I have been battling a patch of ringworm on his belly. (Yeah, gross! Now you get a sense of my day-to-day life.) So we have a routine twice a day--I roll him over onto his side, saying something silly like, "Let's see it! Let's see it!" and then I clean the patch off with some hydrogen peroxide and then rub in a ton of Lotrimin. Thankfully, none of us humans have contracted this deadly disease yet, since it took me literally 2 years to get rid of it the last time I got it (from a shelter dog).
But the thing that makes this story more interesting, is the fact that now, whenever Dwight sees the cotton ball bag, he turns on his side and lifts up his leg so I can do what I need to do. It's hilarious, because unlike other dogs, Dwight doesn't roll over easily for some reason, so getting into position on his side to show me his belly is quite an endeavor for him. I think he likes the quality belly rubbing time, though he's never been one for actual belly rubs. Wierd, right?

Does anyone have any suggestions on fixing ringworm in dogs? We haven't taken him to the vet for it yet, since it seems to be responding to the lotrimin, but we will if it spreads.

Other things on the animal front:
1. B.P. is a love as always. We've got him a collar because there's this guy across the way who also feeds ferals and I think he might let B.P. into his house sometimes, and if he does, I want him to know that B.P. is already owned by us, and not a stray to take in. (Which, how would you not know, seeing how fat he is getting...I guess he's making up for the lean times.)
In any case, B.P. is very good about the collar and keeps it on the whole time he is outside. It's really cute hearing the tag jingle as he runs toward us.

2. Billy the gerbil, who lost his brother Lars a couple of months ago, got really sick for a while. His eyes started getting bigger and bigger, and I was really worried for a weekend. Then, his eyes went back to normal, but looked cloudy. I thought he was over whatever it was. Then, the next weekend, he started gushing blood from his eyes. It was the most horrifying thing I have ever witnessed. Aaron and I were freaking because we couldn't decide whether to take him to the vet or not, since all our experience with taking small animals to the vet is that it stresses them out so much they die soon after (or on the examining table, as per Monica and Jordan's poor guinea pig, Bob). So we let Billy try to get better on his own. He kept trying to rub his face in his sand bath to stop the bleeding, so we took it out and gave him some flour, which supposedly has styptic powers. But it didn't work, and seemed to make it worse, so we took it out. He eventually stopped bleeding, though it started and stopped twice that weekend. Now, he is pretty quiet, but does move around to eat and drink, and he'll take treats from me. In fact, while he was gushing blood and dripping it everywhere, he was still eating! Anyways, gerbils are the hardiest rodents, so hopefully he will recover a bit more.

Ok well, I gotta go. While writing this post, I am slowly eating the mediocre potato salad I made last night, and Dwight is whining at me because he wants some.

It's 3 am and I'm home alone!

Aaron is gone for the weekend unexpectedly, and I feel like a 14 year old left to my own devices. Currently I am sprawled across the bed, bathed in the blue light of the computer screen, with Dwight curled up next to me. Two seconds before I started this post, I was mouth breathing (unintentionally, due to my sinus infection that is mostly better now) and looking up random flickr photos.

All I ate today was a sub sandwich from Jimmy Johns, some popcorn, and a bite of fruit loops. I am way too used to being taken care of...if Aaron is around, he will get me food if I am feeling too weak (or lazy) to get out of the house. And if he is around, it feels less futile to scrounge up appropriate food for two rather than just me. Lucky that Dwight's kibble is easy to prepare!
And then I spent all day finishing up a book about dragons and catching up on TV. What the heck will I do tomorrow? Probably more of the same.

Dwight got his new collar in today! He looks very handsome in it. The new smell is getting to me though.

as per Aaron: 'Mockery is the greatest form of flattery, Jenny'. That, apparently, is his excuse for mocking me until I told him he was being annoying.

The mind is a terrible thing. Mine plagues me. Tonight, it started out slyly, by reminding me of humiliating moments in my life that make me want to gouge my brains out when I think of them. Just when I thought I had succeeded in forgetting them. Nothing earth shattering, just things I wish I'd never said or gaseous expulsions I wish I could have been warned about by my traitor body before they actually expulsed. But now, as I lay in bed, my mind takes a deleterious turn, and forces me to think of all the saddest things that could happen. Just when I thought that being in Austin for the weekend had cured my insomnia temporarily...
Yep, this is a pretty typical blog post for 4 am.

Monica, Lump (her cat), and Jordan are in Dallas this weekend for the Shootout. My weekend has consisted of eating out at restaurants (yipee!), bookstores, and watching Lump, who is currently in heat, present herself to Dwight at every opportunity. She also presents to humans, furniture, and especially shoes. She was a bottle baby, so she's a little confused.

Mobile blogging! Ah, what innovation insomnia brings...

I'm back from a weekend in Houston! I spent Sunday morning with Aaron doing yard work for his mom--we were to remove a "bush," which once I saw it, it was really small tree-sized, so I think it was a bit misleading to call it a bush. I imagined a waist-high, soft-branched thing, but really it was pretty big. Taller than me. In any case, we got it out eventually, but I ache in places I didn't even know existed. And there's more "bush"-removing planned for Christmas. Delightful.
Actually it was sorta fun to be outside and getting my workout, and I was fed really well this weekend.

What I'm up to these days:
1. Working on finding a job, but also feeling really anxious about talking to new people in order to do it.
2. Watching Desperate Housewives on netflix on demand.
3. Selling off some unnecessary stuff.
4. Cleaning! I basically haven't done any major cleaning in this place for 3 years...so I have some catching up to do.
5. Re-reading The Other End of the Leash, to refresh my dog knowledge.

Last night in St. Cloud. It seems hard to believe that tomorrow night, I won't see Cache running gleefully down the stairs and hallway at bedtime, excited about sharing the bed, and that there won't be any more late night Desperate Housewives watching with Elissa for a long time. This is what happens when you take on someone else's life--you get comfortable in it, and you don't realize how much you're going to miss the everyday occurrences till you have to leave. I'll miss my messy little basement room.
I can't believe that with all the technological advances of the modern age, we don't yet have instantaneous transporters.

On the other hand, I will be seeing my boy and my dog soon (and my cat, gerbil, hermit crab and fishie), so there's something to be happy about.

On a happier note, Elissa and I taught Cache to play dead! I must remember to take a video of him doing it before I go.

Yay! I'm happy because I'm going to be having some cashflow in the next week or two...
Aaron is doing a Craigslist deal for me in Dallas on one of my bags I don't want anymore, and I got a really great upgrade phone from AT&T that I can sell on Craigslist as well, since I already have a phone I love. The income from the bag will be able to cover a shirt I bought here that I've been feeling a bit guilty about, and the phone...well let's just say,

A&E Boots, here I come!



I figure since I'm currently unemployed, the least I can do is cover my frivolous purchases the best I can.

Having been in St. Cloud for a while, in addition to hanging out with Elissa, which I haven't really gotten to do since college (three years ago!), I've also gotten a chance to get to know Cache, her dog. Cache is the first dog I've gotten close to other than Dwight. It's fairly difficult to get to know most people's dogs in the way that their owners know them--and because of this, other people's dogs pretty much end up just seeming like dogs. Nothing special, just some creature who exists in someone else's house.

But with Cache, it's different. Not only have I fed and pottied him more than a couple times, he's also my sleeping buddy, since the cats get to sleep with Aaron B. and Elissa. So I've come to discover the way Cache gives "hugs" on the couch by putting his front paws around your lap, and then slowly collapses so that his torso is in your lap, and then twists upside down so that his tongue hangs out and his chest is in the perfect place for a nice scratch. And the way he takes advantage of any weakness in the morning--if he sees me open my eyes just once, he will not rest until we are up and out of bed, on the way to potty and preferably food as well.

In getting to know Cache, I've been surprised at seeing how easily everything seems to go for him. First, it was the fluid way his joints moved as he walked, in contrast to Dwight's stiffer-legged gait. Cache seems as indestructible as I had always thought all dogs were before I got Dwight. He is perfectly fine to be grabbed by his scruff, thrown around in rough play, and to slip around on the hardwood floor. Second, on his first ever trip to the dog park, Cache seemed to immediately grasp how to communicate with other dogs. Whereas Dwight at first seemed to only understand vocal communication--if a dog barked at him, no matter how small the dog was, he would back down; otherwise, he would continue chewing and licking another dog's ears even if the other dog's hackles were standing up. Finally, Cache takes negative reinforcement fairly well--his ego seeming quite as indestructible as everything else about him. Dwight, on the other hand, kennels himself if I happen to raise my voice.

In the end, these difference don't matter much in the scheme of things. Having Cache as a comparison has merely helped me to understand how much of Dwight is dog-ness, and how much of him is pure Dwight-ness.


But on more contemplative days, I can't help but to notice how Cache's differences from Dwight seem to mirror the differences between Elissa's life and mine. Elissa's life in St. Cloud is ordered--things stay where they belong, and the kitchen table is rarely, if ever, obscured with unfinished projects and scrap paper. She has things to do and a schedule on which to do them...and she follows this schedule for the most part. After three years of med school, I've gotten used to eating when I feel like it and taking my fun wherever and whenever I can get it, even if it means driving around a dead city at 4 am in the morning. I believe it was similar for Elissa while she was finishing her master's degree just a couple of months ago. But her life now includes a sunlit house with a deck, a huge, kelly green yard, and a dog who seems to encapsulate the order and all-american-ness of it all.

And so, on these days, I wonder: if I find a dream job, and move into my dream house, will Dwight magically stop limping forever and become a perfectly healthy dog, to mirror my perfectly healthy life? I suppose one can always hope.

Currently blogging to you from Elissa's couch in St. Augusta, Minnesota! Cache, Elissa and Aaron B.'s dog, is laying on the carpet in front of me making a huge mess chewing up his rope/tire toy, and I have a view of the deck and bird feeder outside from where I sit. I am in love with their deck, despite the fact that I have not spent much time on it. I can just envision myself sitting on the deck on a comfy chair to drink some sort of hot liquid and read a book every morning. Of course, I have not done so, but I could very much envision myself doing so....

On that note--why are drinking hot liquids considered such a posh, grown-up thing to do? I see people my age hanging out at coffeehouses all the time, sipping an indescript hot liquid from a cardboard cup that closely resembles a baby's sippy cup, and then either tapping away on a laptop or reading a book, and looking very satisfied with their lives, and how they turned out.
This makes me wonder if Aaron's strong aversion to hot liquids of any kind (though he will lift his ban occasionally for tomato basil soup from Le Madeleine) is connected to his equally strong aversion to "growing up."
His theory is that people grow up and turn into stodgy adults by first pretending to be an adult, until they forget how it was before they started pretending. So we keep ourselves young by letting ourselves do what we feel like, when we feel like, as much as possible. And I defend Aaron's right to wear his pants at whatever level he chooses, and his right to let his beard get as long as he wants it to on the weekends to his mother, who I sometimes think, wishes she had Bill Gates as a son...with or without the money, she just wants the sweater vests and pants at belly button level.

Signing out--I am off to rot my brain by reading Cosmo magazine, which I bought yesterday at the grocery store on impulse.

Haha, Kitty just jumped up on the couch to cuddle with me, but landed on a junkmail ad thing that was left on the couch and jumped about half a foot in the air. When he landed he acted as if nothing happened, and walked over to start kneading on me. I love having a cat in the house!

Back from a much-stressed-about weekend trip to Houston!
I was really dreading the trip due to having to leave B.P. outside all weekend to fend for himself, since he only uses the litterbox sporadically. This is usually ok, since he just asks to go outside when he needs to go, thus freeing us from litterbox cleaning duties, but it also prevents him from staying inside when we need to go on trips.
It felt so good last night to be going to sleep in my own bed knowing that B.P. was safely sleeping in his usual chair. He's been especially lovey today as well, which is nice as cuddling with kitties is especially cozy on a rainy day.

In other news, I have finally sold off all my school books, and bought Aaron's combined b-day/anniversary present with the proceeds, with a bit left over.

I feel really sluggish today, and I fear the writing in this post is suffering. Better log off for now...

On to a lazy day of reading Harry Potter and waiting for a package that probably will not arrive today.

Yesterday, Aaron and I had a conversation (while walking from the car to Target to get Father's Day cards) about the line in the Bible about not worrying too much because if God takes care of birds, then of course he will take care of you.  Here's the actual verse:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is life not more important than food and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life.
Matthew 6:25-27 New International Version

I've always thought about this quote a lot, whenever I get a bit overwrought about things I have no control over. Which is a lot of things.
So I was telling Aaron yesterday that it bothered me a lot to see sick birds around, eating dirty pesto pasta from some crushed plastic container, or even dead ones that seem to have just dropped dead while flying and fell from the sky. He reasoned that God would be taking care of the birds if humans, with our free will, hadn't messed with the ecosystem, which makes sense. But it still bothered me.

And then today as I was driving home from class, I saw a bird diving and gliding in front of my car at a red light. I didn't think much of it until I noticed a moth flying in front of it. The bird was really beautiful, flying after the moth, it went in for the kill a few times and missed, but it never lost sight of the moth. And finally, before the light turned green, the bird caught it and flew off to eat. I didn't realize until I was driving away how much the event applied to my conversation with Aaron earlier.

It doesn't really change the fact that birds can have a really bad time of it, but I thought it was a reaffirming coincidence.

At the Union. In Austin! Whoop.

I'm sitting outside taking a break from studying. So I'm watching 30 Rock, the episode where Liz is going corporate. Seeing her success really cheers me up because it's almost like I'm watching myself succeed. There are a million reasons why I am Liz Lemon. Shall I enumerate the ways?

1. She loves food!
2. She is awkward!
3. She says things like, "You can eat my poo!"

This comparison cheers me up considerably because I was walking on campus to get to the Union today, and started feeling quite old. But then I thought, "Well, Liz is 37, and she is still awesome," and felt much better.

Have you seen this trailer? I went to see Terminator Salvation on Monday, and when I saw this trailer, I immediately wished that I was seeing Surrogates instead. It may be Bruce Willis' best movie since 12 Monkeys (which I saw on the UT movie channel in the dorms at least three times).



Terminator, on the other hand, was ok. It seemed more like an episode in a long series than an actual definitive sequel. Maybe because they were trying to hard to keep it open-ended so they can make more sequels and thus, more $$.

This past weekend, my mom and sister came up to visit, along with my sister's 2 week old bottle baby kitten, currently named "Lump." See her picture on my flickr, or here!

We went to Scarborough Faire on Sunday, which is the Renaissance Festival near Dallas, and I was quite tempted to go again Monday. Aaron and I were able to get 4 tickets for $40 online right before we went, so we saved about 50%. While there, the four of us ate two spinach pochettes, a sausage on a stick, a baked potato with the works (which apparently includes a single broccoli stalk garnish), two orders of fried pickles, and a meatball pochette. I think that's it... Oh wait, also Aaron and I shared a strawberry italian ice on an orange half, and we all shared two bottles of RC cola. The wonders that met our eyes at the festival included smoke bubbles, birds of prey, and a pewter creature vendor who asked me, "Young Lady, where did you get those sunglasses?", and then informed me that they were looking for a pair of green aviators.

Aaron has said two funny things lately by accident (and probably countless funny things on purpose...but those don't count).

First, as we were doing the Scarborough Faire ticket exchange at a gas station, Aaron asked the guy (a middle-aged guy with piercing blue eyes in spite of his brown hair) how he won them (at a dance contest) pondered the tickets and said, "They look pretty legit..." Looking hurt, the guy replied, with slight indignance, "They are." Pretty hilarious, since Aaron meant for it to be an internal conversation, but it slipped out.
>>Then later in the car, we wondered whether the man would have been willing to give us a little display of his dancin' skills that he won the dance contest with, to prove the tickets were for real. Such indignity for just $40, doing a jig at a Valero gas station.<<

And then yesterday, we went to On The Border, and when the host asked us whether we wanted to sit inside or outside, Aaron asked, "If it starts to rain, can we come inside?" The host just said, "Sure!" But it cracked me up, because what are they going to do, bar the doors?

hehe Dwight just did something awesome.
He loves to play with my elastic hair bands and I caught him picking one off the window ledge at the head of our bed. I told him, "No, don't do that" and sounded very disapproving. So he dropped it, but it landed on my pillow, instead of on the ledge--then, he nudged it with his nose until it was right back where it was before he touched it.

My dog might be the smartest creature that ever walked the earth. Actually, that's not true, he can be quite dense about many things, which is why I was so surprised at this turn of events.

Ha, ok, I am at work, and I just happened to think about this following video, and could not hold back a laugh.


Also, this one is pretty funny too:


And this


See more here.

My favorite thing is how the kitty lifts his head and closes his eyes at the end. The comedy is twofold:
1. He looks like he is blissed out on his keyboard music
2. He is wearing a shirt and some human has his hands stuck up in the shirt, moving kitty's arms around, and kitty acts like he is just getting a good petting.

While driving home from work just now (no class today, just study time), I saw a basset hound with a faded blue collar on accosting random strangers down the street. I typically don't stop for stray dogs anymore because Aaron and I can never get them to come to us, they just run away from us, fast. But since this one seemed to be walking up to homeless people, I figured his standards weren't that high, and since he had a collar on and was friendly, perhaps he was lost. So I stopped, and saw him run into an auto mechanic shop where a guy was working. I asked the guy if that was his dog, and he said yes. Satisfied that I had attempted to do my duty towards all dogkind, I started walking away, when the dog ran back out and followed me. I petted him for a little while, and after that, he started to follow me down the street while nipping at my calves and thighs to try to get me to pay attention to him. The guy tried to get him to come, but every time the guy got close, the dog would mischievously dart away. Finally, I had to call him over and catch his collar and lead him back so the guy could hold onto him.
I wish we could go back in time when a dog could chill unleashed when his/her human was working outside. Dwight has far too much leash time and not enough free time, and thus, has not had the opportunity to develop his problem solving skills. (If this seems like a jump in reasoning, read Merle, The Adventures of a Free Thinking Dog.) Not to say that the basset hound seemed to be smarter than Dwight, but I wish Dwight could have time to figure things out for himself. For example, when he's on leash and Big Poppa (the cat) starts running past him during one of his playful moods, Dwight gets really excited and wants to chase. But at 3 am, when he's off leash for a potty break before bed, he stays away from kitty, because he knows he will get bitch slapped otherwise. I think it's cause he thinks we think for him when he's on leash, so he doesn't have to think for himself.
On the other hand though, this basset hound was skinny, and starved for attention. On coming home and finding Dwight curled up on his excessively cushy bed, I felt lucky that Aaron and I have the means to provide for him in the way that we do. But I also felt a little sad that he has such a sheltered, city dog life. If only we lived in the country with more safe, open spaces, he could have the best of both worlds.

On another note regarding Dwight and the cat, whenever we take Dwight for a walk to the yard, Big Poppa follows us--Dwight on leash, BP off. Sometimes I feel like the Pied Piper of animals. Anyways, a couple of days ago, we went, and Dwight was really hyper. When we got to the yard (Dwight's designated hyper area), Dwight saw BP and charged at him. Every time he would get close to the cat, he would play bow, make a circle around him, and then run away. I think he finally succeeded in scaring BP, because BP got up and nonchalantly (as cats will be, even if they are scared shitless) walked outside of the fence. Perhaps Dwight remembered playing w/ the neighbors dogs in that yard and thought we had brought BP along as a playmate? In any case, I think BP was surprised to see Dwight acting like a normal dog for once.

To round off this post about Dwight, here's a song that Aaron and I came up with as we were going to sleep last night--sung to the tune of Kookaburra...
"Dwighter-baby sleeps on the big warm bed,
Comfy he is, all warm and fed,
Sleep! Dwighter-baby, sleep,
Dwighter-baby Gay your life must be!"

Sometimes I feel like Aaron and I are 7 year olds at a sleepover.

Guess what? I won a bag from a contest that I entered 3 weeks ago online! I guess to continue, I must explain that I happen to frequent the "purseforum," a place where well-off handbag lovers from around the world post about their purchases and the minute details of each season's bags. On one of my idiosyncratic visits to this forum, I saw the particular bag that I just won on a certain celeb who I may or may not have a girl crush on, and loved it, especially the way, as Aaron said, "She carries that bag like it didn't cost $600." In fact, it probably didn't cost $600 for her...and now, it won't cost $600 for me either!
It's only the second contest I entered on that forum, because I only enter when it's a bag I actually want.

I'm super excited about receiving it. Obviously.





When I told my parents, I first talked to my mom.
Mom: Oh! So what's it like inside?
J: Well, it's zebra print, and I don't really like that, but--
Mom: I mean pockets! That's what's really important.
J: Oh, well it has one outside pocket and one inside pocket.
Mom: .....Why is it so expensive then?
Haha, my mom is so funny, she has been searching for a tote for ages with lots of pockets in it. The requirements are: lots of internal pockets for organization, and it must not look like the bag of someone who would carry an amount of cash worth robbing. My mom stopped carrying purses ever since she got robbed once when I was four in the parking lot of the public library, and is just now wanting a bag to carry. I found her one from Brooklyn Industries that would be perfect, but she doesn't like the colors, and thinks it's too expensive.

Then, I talked to my dad.
Dad: I hear you won a very expensive bag. Why is it so expensive?
J: I don't know...I guess because of brand name.
Dad: What color is it?
J: Brown...
Dad: Well that's a pretty normal color! I'm just trying to figure out why it's so expensive! (laughs) Well, you wouldn't have paid $600 for it anyway, I'm sure.

Which I wouldn't. But that wouldn't stop me from lusting after it, and other, out-of-my-price-range bags. But score! Now I don't have to lust. Or at least, it will be a fulfilled lust. Haha starting to sound a bit gross.

Sorry for the long pause, tests are crazy and I just haven't been in the mood to post. Things that have happened in the interim: I had to go get a tetanus shot and Tb test about 3 weeks ago. That night after working at the library, I came home to discover that Aaron had set up the (excessively nice) tent we got as a wedding present and haven't gotten a chance to use yet, in our living room. Complete with rain sounds playing on his laptop and a glow stick that I got to crack myself! It was amazing. So we camped out that night with Dwight, who had to figure out how to get in and out of the tent.
The next morning, I woke up with a fever, did my short shift at the library from 7-8:30 am, and went home and slept for the rest of the day. I assumed it was a reaction to the tetanus shot, and that I would feel better the next day. But I didn't get better--I still had a fever on Thursday, and when it went away, I had a terrible cough, sore throat, etc. I don't know what happened. Maybe I was patient 0 for the swine flu in Dallas. Probably not. I did have all the symptoms except 2, though.
Needless to say, I ended up spending a lot of time during the day sleeping in the tent with Dwight while recovering, and it was really hard to study for that block's test. Perhaps I will start calling that tent my yellow fever tent.

On to other things...
Aaron's cell broke on Wednesday, after 4 years of faithful service. It dates back to the year when I was finishing my last year of college, and he was in LA. Since we were able to get on Aaron's dad's family plan, we were able to talk on the phone pretty constantly. It got to the point that we would fall asleep on the phone on weekends, and so to combat the possible radiation issues, we first got headsets, and then realized we needed to get a phone w/ really good speakerphone. So we ended up both splurging on the Sony Ericssons, which was the first phones we had that weren't free from Cingular or $20 on ebay.
I recently upgraded to a Nokia smartphone so I can have ebooks on it, and had pretty much forgotten how much I loved my Sony phone when I got it. Aaron on the other hand, still loved his and vowed that he would use it till it died. Which it did on Wednesday. We were able to find a newer model Sony Ericsson phone for him on Craigslist, and drove out to get it on Thursday.
The funny thing is, the back of the new phone is made of the same unique material as the casing of the Sony Ericsson, and this, combined with the shiny newness of the phone, reminds me of how it was when I picked up my SE (at a corner convenience store meet-up, from a college kid who somehow had 5 of these phones for sale on ebay), went home to my now much-missed Austin apartment, and marveled at its beauty and function for hours on end.
I am so tempted to save up and buy a matching phone for myself, but I don't know if I'm enamored with the phone, or the memory of how life used to be in Austin. I feel like I've been trying to buy myself out of misery basically all year...thank god it's almost over.

Dwight just got up on the bed with me, chilled for a while, and then got up abruptly with the air of just having thought of something, then jumped off, got his antler, and jumped back on the bed to chew. I love that he has his own schedule for his day: after lunch, lay at attention at foot of bed to protect Mom from the thunderstorm, while chewing on my antler so I won't get bored. If there weren't a thunderstorm going on, I suspect he would be cuddled up beside me in a ball, napping.

I don't think I've ever blogged about a dream but this one last night was a doozy.

In the dream, I could feel a ringworm on my neck behind my ear--not just the scaly redness that ringworm is in reality, but what ringworm sounds like: a bumpy, hard raised ring. But my whole neck felt numb, and I kept asking Aaron, "How bad is it? How many do I have?" And he looked really scared when he told me it was the whole right side of my neck.

Ugh. Scary.

By the way, there is this guy at the library computers near me that has a compulsive sniffing thing. He has been here all night and it's driving me crazy.

I'm reading next week's lectures while I'm stuck here working at the library, and I just have to say--I can't stand it when people who have graduate degrees (M.D., PhD), and are therefore supposed to have a certain amount of intelligence, don't know or care about the proper use of punctuation, or the correct way to spell everyday words.

Find the spelling mistake in the following:
"Extension of sclerosis into subacutis and deep fascia results in bound down skin, i.e. the skin looses its normal mobility..."

The guy spells "loses" like my loser boyfriend in high school did. And my loser boyfriend had to drop out of school and take his GED to get his high school degree.
Gah!!

I am not ashamed to say that I made an angry slash mark through the extra "o".

Last night, Aaron and I stopped at Central Market to get some more raw pumpkin seeds to feed the gerbils, and I picked up a bottle of Frank's Hot Sauce for $.99 that I've been wanting ever since I saw a certain ramen recipe online. So I was finally able to have bomb ass Prison Pad Thai, which ended up being delicious, and made me really happy because the whole time, I was thinking that I was eating exactly what some faceless guy (devo), at Marion County Prison in Oregon may have eaten sometime in the past two weeks.

Amazing! Oh and watch for my phone!

I'm back from my depressive break! As of yesterday, actually. By depressive break, I mean the one and a half week period in which I did little more than sleep about 16 hours a day and read while taking painfully hot baths. The fact that I was reading Revolutionary Road did not help my mood, either. It's a great book, but painful in its cynical truthfulness. So obviously, I fell off the wagon for this block (Neurology), but I am quickly and desperately climbing my way back on.

Other books I read last week/early this week:
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls--a memoir about a successful writer for MSNBC who was brought up by nomadic parents in neglectful circumstances. I loved this book because I was at once enthralled by the adventure and romance of her childhood, and appalled that parents could be so selfish and immature.
The Good Good Pig by Sy Montgomery--a true story about a pig named Christopher Hogwood who is one of the few farm pigs that have been allowed to live out a happy life. This book cheered me up considerably! Except of course, Christopher Hogwood dies in the end at a ripe old age of 11...or 12.

Things that are on my mind right now: Should I quit school now, before the OSCE exams after spring break? Or wait till later so I can ostensibly take a year off before making the final break?
The OSCE exams are when I will have to perform a physical exam on 10 different standardized patients in 3 hours, while being spied upon by cameras who will grade my performance. Basically, my worst nightmare. I would rather do almost anything than do physical exams. The mere thought of it makes my vision staticky and my head dizzy. The invasion of personal space is just too much to handle.
But I would feel even more like a failure if I quit now instead of later...

The stress of these past weeks have increased my social fears, and I am currently at the point where I can't stand to feel anyone looking at me. I just had to go down to the cafeteria during lunch hour to get food, and the crowd of people was too much.

When will this be over? I can't go on.

Something I actually enjoyed while studying today: this picture of what people with migraines sometimes see before they get a migraine.

This website is hilarious.

addendum to last post:
Though even if I did have kids, I don't think I would be one of those parents. I'd probably just strap the kid on my back and do whatever I felt like doing. Aaron and I'd be the parents that other people look sideways at, with their school age children up on a school night at a midnight movie, or shopping at a 24 hr Walmart or something.

Having said that, a couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I were eating dinner at Sal's, the best pizza place in Dallas. This lady and her three kids ranging from 6 months to about 5 sat down right next to us, despite the fact that there were empty tables all over the restaurant, since it was early for dinner. At one point, she turned to us and said over the racket of her kids, "I know, we're the best birth control in the world, huh...obviously I didn't pay enough attention to birth control...just kidding." She seemed truly frustrated with the whole situation. And it's not like she seemed like some ghetto lady who just couldn't keep up with her birth control, she was the typical Dallas-ite soccer mom, who seemed like she would drive a 4Runner and buy her clothes from JCrew.
Later, she said to her kids, "Maybe, if we get home early enough, we can all bathe tonight!"

See, that's what happens when you have kids. Lowered expectations for your own life, which then translate into unfairly high expectations for your kids.

"We had date nights on Thursdays or Fridays, I can't remember. So we'd leave early, linger over dinner, and get back early so we could get [our child] to bed, since she had school in the morning...The babysitter would get there at 5, and leave at 7, 7:30. Sometimes we'd just go grocery shopping without the kid."

I'm working at the library and eavesdropping on the conversation of two women--the one who said the above was trying to convince the other to have another child before she gets too much older. And then, the conversation sidetracked to the above quote, where she describes what her life was like when her kids were younger.

The hopelessness of her situation strikes fear into my heart. The bright spot of my whole week after having a kid is a two hour block once a week to grocery shop in peace? Hmm. No thanks. I really don't understand the popularity of procreation. Is biology so all-powerful?

Poor Aaron, he is sick...Poor me, I am sick. We went to bed at 10 pm only to wake up at 1 am to drink chicken noodle soup and orange juice. Now I can't sleep and I've spent the last hour looking at photos on flickr tagged with the word "sick."

Right now I am really missing elementary school cafeteria lunches, everything in its proper compartment on the plastic tray.

Am currently procrastinating by looking at the millions of "What's in your bag" photos on Flickr. So I was just clicking along, and thought absentmindedly, "Oh, look at these people who carry a toothbrush and sometimes even toothpaste with them everywhere they go! I wish I had the desire to be so hygienic." And then, after a couple of other pictures, I thought, "What's with all these people who carry their sunglasses in their purses without cases?! What if they get scratched?" And then I realized I care more about my sunglasses than my teeth. Messed up.

New Doppelganger Pair Discovered!

A little known fact--I have a thing about doppelgangers. Harry Connick, Jr and Jeff Goldblum, I can barely tell them apart. I don't know if it's because I'm Asian and so all white people look the same to me or what.

When I saw the previews for a history of violence, I thought it was gonna be something like Secret Window, Secret Garden, where the main character has multiple personalities or something. Why? Because Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen are the same person, basically.




For heaven's sake, which is which? I'm not going to tell you, because it doesn't matter. They're the same. And I just saw another movie they starred in together, Appaloosa. They play best friends who ride around the west keeping the peace. Or was it twins who ride around keeping the peace?....I'm not sure.

For Monica

Why do I find Justin Timberlake so much more attractive now??

We have a new cat! Rather, one of the ferals has promoted himself to the status of housecat. It's Tupac, and a couple of weeks ago, he started meowing to come inside the house in the evenings. I figured it was because he was cold, and so he got to come inside a bit to be cuddled by Aaron or even occasionally, me, despite my allergies. He would fall asleep in a lap immediately. And drool.
Then we went to Taiwan for 2 weeks, and I think the balance of power shifted in the backyard from Tupac to Big Poppa, who took over the kitty hideaway that Tupac always used to stay in. So when we got back, Tupac started meowing to get in at all hours of the day and night. And so, he is now inside almost all the time. He never wants to leave, even when it's nice weather outside. He even has a litter box now, which he makes a royal mess of, desperately trying to cover his poop. But he uses it, and that's the most important thing! It probably doesn't help that it's the tiny kitten-sized litter box we had for the fosters.

What about my allergies, you say? Well, it helps that Tupac knows his place (for now) and listens when he's told to keep off the couch. He just lays on this blanket we had laying in the corner waiting to be washed, and kneads it. And the blanket is the color of dough, so it is very fitting.

I really wish I'd given him a better name than Tupac, if he is going to be our real housecat now...I was trying not to get attached to the ferals, and thus gave them all half-joking rapper names.
It's cool that his coloring is similar to Dwight's--black mostly, w/ white on his chest. He doesn't have white on his face or feet though.

Currently working at the library. There are workers building a scaffolding just outside in order to change the lightbulbs on the second floor. The racket is unbelievable. But how I wish I could be one of those workers, balancing on a metal scaffolding, with my day's goal being the changing of a lightbulb.

It's only been 4 days since getting back from vacation, and I am already really really down about everything. It's like if you offered someone in a terrible situation a 2 week vacation where they could do whatever they wanted, the catch being that they would then have to return to their terrible situation, now a hundred times worse in comparison. I was going to say Auschwitz, but I thought that might seem a bit extreme. To you, not to me.

edit: okay, a bit extreme even to me, but really not by much.