addendum to last post:
Though even if I did have kids, I don't think I would be one of those parents. I'd probably just strap the kid on my back and do whatever I felt like doing. Aaron and I'd be the parents that other people look sideways at, with their school age children up on a school night at a midnight movie, or shopping at a 24 hr Walmart or something.
Having said that, a couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I were eating dinner at Sal's, the best pizza place in Dallas. This lady and her three kids ranging from 6 months to about 5 sat down right next to us, despite the fact that there were empty tables all over the restaurant, since it was early for dinner. At one point, she turned to us and said over the racket of her kids, "I know, we're the best birth control in the world, huh...obviously I didn't pay enough attention to birth control...just kidding." She seemed truly frustrated with the whole situation. And it's not like she seemed like some ghetto lady who just couldn't keep up with her birth control, she was the typical Dallas-ite soccer mom, who seemed like she would drive a 4Runner and buy her clothes from JCrew.
Later, she said to her kids, "Maybe, if we get home early enough, we can all bathe tonight!"
See, that's what happens when you have kids. Lowered expectations for your own life, which then translate into unfairly high expectations for your kids.
3 comments:
i didn't really understand the last sentence, your moral of the story.
in 15 years, i'm going to make your 8 year-old read this blog post and watch the little nerd cry.
that sounded kinda harsh and since writing it, i've been worried that you might find it offensive.. sorry!
can we still be friends?
I just meant that for the mom, her biggest hope for that night was that everyone gets to bathe. Lowered expectations. And then, I see so many parents forcing their kids to be what the parents want them to be--unfair expectations for your kids.
Sometimes I think that those unfair expectations are due to the fact that the parents don't feel like they have accomplished enough with their own lives, and thus must live vicariously through their kids. Whereas, if they hadn't had kids, they probably could have done more with their lives.
If he's 8 in 15 years, that means I will have him in 7 years. Which means I will be 32. Which means that the Down syndrome risk has already increased by 1/8.
This is also part of the reason I'm panicking about my anti-kid feelings. There's only a small window, and I know I won't want them in that small window.
Ok, I think these two posts have been a case of way too much information.
And yes, we can still be friends, even if you did make my imaginary nerd boy cry.
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