The synchronicity of life is strange. One of the worst people I have ever known was a guy who I dated briefly in high school. After he dropped out of school, I lost track of him, and pretty much assumed he was dead of a drug overdose or std. I guess that sounds pretty dramatic, but keep in mind, I was a teenager when I came up with this theory, and to be fair, he was a really skeezy guy. When I taught high school, I would hear my students talk about the boys they met at the mall or around town, or the guys they were 'talking to' and just pray they would not end up encountering anyone like him.

But thanks to the advent of social media, a couple of years ago, I found out that he was not, indeed, dead, but married, and writing for a oil magazine in Houston. Also, his wife had given birth to a baby a couple of months before I happened to look him up.

And this brings us to the synchronicity.
Sadly, there are more awful people in the world than one would hope, and I now have the sickening misfortune of knowing yet another disgusting example of humankind. I've known for a while that this more recent douchebag had a child on the way, and now I've just found out that he has found a new job writing for an oil magazine. What is the likelihood that a coincidence of this magnitude exists? And what does it all mean?

One of the saddest, most debilitating feelings in the world is to witness a series of occurrences and decisions that will inevitably lead to disaster, and not being able to do anything prevent it. It's like watching a train wreck happen over a period of years--if you look away and distract yourself, you can almost forget it's happening. But the instant you get a free minute, the feeling of dread returns, and you remember that there's people dying, lives being ruined just a few feet away.

No matter how many times life tries to teach me that people are a mix of good and bad, and that I should accept the bad with the good, I can never bring myself to fully do it. I don't know if it's a lesson I can ever learn.

And in any case, there are some misdeeds that should not be forgiven.

After 28 years of existence, I finally have my first retail job, and I'm finding it every bit as satisfying as I always imagined. I show up, coffee in hand, start the tasks that present themselves, don't stop moving until the end of my shift, and then go home and forget entirely about work until the next shift. I've lost six pounds since I started a month and a week ago, because I don't like taking lunch breaks. The only complaint I have is that I've been working nights a lot.

One night last week, I went to Target with Aaron and he let me test nail polishes on his hands since my nails were already painted. I was trying to choose between about three different shades of matte gray, and when he noticed that one of the shades, Chinchilly by Essie, had "award winner!" posted next to its spot on the shelf, his exclamation of "It's an award winner!" and total conviction that this meant Chinchilly was the obvious choice both cracked me up and convinced me. He also bought "Mermaid for Each Other" for me, citing its perfect representation of reflective insect thoraxes as un-pass-up-able.

Some links to the colors, in case you are interested:

Chinchilly by Essie

Mermaid for Each Other by Nicole (OPI)

Also, I subbed a day last week at a high school, and had Experiences. Most notably, a girl sitting in the middle of the room who asked for a tissue, then picked her nose and said, "Ew, look at this!" and showed what was on the tissue to everyone around her. Also, the janitor's closet had a plastic plaque by it labeling it as the "Janitior's Closet." Proof that the students are not the only stupid thing about schools... I wish I'd been in the mood to take a picture of this...

Also, I keep meaning to tell you about the Scary Lady of Mockingbird Station, but that is a very involved story for another day.

"Time's not poison, but once you drink it all you'll die. So let's just sip it real slow, yeah we can nurse it all night. Try to believe that once it's gone we'll pour another round and come back to life."

This Bright Eyes lyric never fails to make me feel the full extent of my mortality. Thanks dude, go ahead, spread your depression.

B.P. was super clingy this morning. First, he climbed onto a shelf in my closet behind my stuffed animals, so that I couldn't reach him to put him out of the bedroom so I could leave. He would only come out when I sat on the floor and called him, and then he came right over and curled up in my lap. He looks like a little baby kitten when he does that, so of course I couldn't help but spend a few minutes petting him. I can't wait till Friday--day off with the animals!! I'm just going to lay in bed all day, I won't even get up to brush my teeth.

The theme for this weekend was dissatisfaction. I was looking for a phone case for my Nokia N8, and got really frustrated because there aren't that many choices. The iphone is such a cool looking phone with lots of available cases--too bad the OS bores me. I almost bought an N8 case with bunny ears and a poof tail, just because it was the most unique one on ebay, but in the end I settled for a few rubberized cases in different colors. 4 cases for $6! Can't beat ebay.

The theme for this month is security items. Since adults can't carry around comfy blankets everywhere they go, I have a few things that I can carry around that act as a reminder of home when I'm homesick--my wedding rings, Bal bracelet, and cell phone. Also, my glitter pencil case that reminds me that I get to go back to school soon, and experience the other side of the classroom again. I absolutely can't wait to sit in a desk and make someone grade the things I turn in.

If only there was a new Downton Abbey episode waiting for me every night, my life would be so much happier!

I just got these jeans at Target!



I used to hate animal print, but lately I've been really liking leopard for some reason. Only leopard print that isn't the tan/gold color that real leopards are, though. Anyways, these jeans make me happy just looking at them. Even better, it was a spontaneous, easy purchase--they caught my eye, I tried them on, and took them home. This never happens for me. I either find things online and have to desperately try to locate them somewhere in person, or I see something I like but can't find my size, and have to drive all around town finding the right size. So, buying these jeans was an especially satisfying experience.

Also, I'm headed to Houston this weekend, which means I finally get to see the moto jacket I had my mom pick up for me at Zara Houston. (I've been looking for one to rival the Balenciaga motorcycle jacket in my heart, and I finally found it online, but alas, the only Zara store in Texas that had it was in Houston.) I'm in a happy materialistic frenzy!

The Zara jacket: